SCV_A Rant

SCV: A Rant_by BelialHaste233

SCV's  1/4th Story Mode thinks it's pretty funny, but I got a news flash for it!
It...isn't.

It only takes like thirty minuets for the entire thing to be completed and you only get to play as whiny little Pattycakes for the majority of the time. Oh you like Voldo? Oh you like Mitsurugi? Well too bad, no Story Mode for you!
As a side note, was Patroklos as Nightmares' warrior M.O. to kill random people then EVENTUALLY got to those people you swore justice on late after the fact that he's been betrayed? Okay.
You also get to play as this annoying cry baby girl who's story isn't heart-wrenching at all, it's just aggravating as all hell. Uggh.

Hell-larity continues for 5 damn chapters, and by now it makes the Soul Calibur 4 story look like Citizen Kane in comparison. But through the power of somehow (like this story's sucking), what happens when you combine two great tastes that go great together?

~~
Tira: ''Hey you've got Pyrrha in my Soul Edge!''
Nightmare: ''Hey you've got Soul Edge in my Pyrrah! ''
~~

So by some Adobe After FX sequence, Pyrrah becomes Omega.
Always figured that was possible whenever someone touched Soul Edge since the entire series' running time. Well Tira saw this one coming.
Meanwhile, Patroklos has to be over the top dramatic drama qween as possible before he becomes Alpha.

---Pointless Maxi, Xiba, Natsu, Leixia, Ivy, Seigfried, Hilde, Voldo cameo!---

Oh by the way Zwei's pretty much the only redeemable factor for doing something competent and logical throughout this entire thing (for like 1 fight). He seemed to thank Tira for doing him a favor and getting out of this mess of a Story Mode anyway.
~~~
Zwei: Good. Now that Nightmare's outta the way, the threat has been eliminated.

Tira: Derp-de-doo. *puts hand on his shoulder and LIGHTLY pushes Zwei off the 'RING OUT' portion of the stage*

Zwei: Thanks a bunch! I'll get you in the sequel!

~~

Ahahaa Patroklos dealing with the loss of his mother and sister around chaper 10-12? That is hilarious.
Giving in to Soul Calibur and Sophitia-I mean Elysium got to him too. Seems the halucinations have been taking a good effect on him. He's become the good malfested around this time. (Dub:"Patsuka")
Its totally legal to hit people when they're hysteric, that means you Omega.


So yeah, about the same (whining and crying) a usual for the mid portion of the tale until you hit the near end.
Oh man I'm gonna feel so bad if 'I could give a shit about my brother' crybaby Pyrrha supposedly dies.
Patroklos is an such an asshole.


Here's a sum up of the final piece of the story:
~~
Patroklos: I suffer from main character hero syndrome! I knocked out this woman earlier carrying an unbrella and stole her sword. This is proof that I'm a hero!

Pyrrha:'Sup Bro! Rawrr!

Patroklos: Oh hi sis, how are you--*gasp* You've got evil eyes!
You must be a malfested! Die, malfested!

Pyrrha: Nooo-wait, this is just my Halloween cost-*Patroklos stab*
OW! You killed me!? But why?!

Patroklos: Meh.

Elysium/Sophitia: FINALLY UTOPIA HAS ARRIVED!

Patroklos: Woohoo!

END

Well I'm sure the last 15 minuets are just wrap up--
OR IS IT? BLEHH.
~~

Quick Wrap Up Time!: Patroklos was a warrior for Nightmare, was betrayed, started looking for his sister, joins a group of strangers, found sister, abandoned her, abandoned mother ENTIRELY also killing the soul of Soul Calibur (which was her apparently), went back too look for his sister, killed Soul Edge as well and goes on to live with his sister together of into the sunset which looks like the opening to The Lion King movie..

Why? Does it have a pay off? Who cares when we can get away with a stupid filthy ending!
I wouldn't expect someone to have mercy over a group of people who killed their mother...especially someone who loves their parents to death.

"I plan on living the rest of my life with my sister."
The story of the serial killer siblings...the incest is a strong factor all the way.

If this ending is true, then the world is saved right? Right?

Not until the sequel.

~~~

**Final Thoughts..

You know that joke that sounds a lot funnier in your head instead of when you say it out loud, yeah, listen to it at least once Story Mode!
Not only is it fucked up, Pyrrha would've and could've been saved accordingly if Patroklos actually listened to Zwei for a couple minuets. If Patroklos took the script of SCV, opened it up in Microsoft Word, did a quick search on all of the words 'evil' and changed 'em to 'malfested' in order to make stupid jokes about WELL GUESS.
Ugh Patroklos was making it harder than it is.
''Pyrrah I don't want you hanging out with that lesbo Tira, she's a bad one-liner influence.''
Omega was just spouting things that think mean something that had nothing to do that was going on. Why did Tira didn't bother going out with Pyrrah in the first place if she think there was something special about her? I think there are some closed doors that need to be opened. There was no real reason for any of the boring picture slide show to be there, dragging out the story into what could have easily been summed up like that in Soul Calibur 2. It like lame-tastic lines/fighting followed by lame-tastic reasoning and the funniest bits are from how ditsy Patroklos' decisions were.

It seems to have potential but it wasn't quite executed well. A bit of a disappointment bearing stale explanation, no damn sense of logic, a rushed feeling to meet a deadline and the cameos of other characters make 'em seem like pointless accessories. EVEN LINK HAD A FRIGGIN' STORY. But then again if the last 4 games taught me anything, stupid me shouldn't be looking for sense. Casually though, I think I wouldn't have noticed.